Laugh Out Loud

• eto story ng mga kababayan natin sa spain ksi minsan nagkukwentuhan din sila about their bloopers...yung isang pinoy nagtatrabaho sya sa bahay...nandun din yung amo nya at pinapaluto sya...conversation nila:
  
  amo: i want u to cook this beef di plantsa...(word n spanish,grill yata ang meaning)
  
  pinoy: si senor...
  after 10 minutes pumasok ang amo sa kitchen nakita nya ang pinoy pinaplantsa yung karne as in plantsa....napanganga na lang daw amo nya
• maid story:
  
  me: ate, pakikuha nga yung pantalon ko nakasampay sa likod
  maid: bukas na lang ati, madilim sa lekod i
  me: buksan mo nlang yung ilaw
  maid: naku ati pundido kasi i, hindi ko maboksan yung elaw
  me: dali na kasi, papalantsahin pa yun eh. i-try mo lang i-switch uli, malay mo sumindi
  maid: sigi (pinindot yung switch, UMILAW) aba! it's a mirakol!
• We had a maid who always thought that all white L300 vans are that of my dad so everytime na galing sila ng palengke ng nanay ko, and makakita siya ng van after palengke, natataranta pa sha na nagsasabi sa mom ko, na andun na ung dad ko at sinusundo sila, with matching habol pa to the car, heheheh
  
  another time naman, with the same maid, i asked her to get me a pillow from my room kasi ung sofa namin kahoy and i'm soo tamad to go upstairs and get it mysef... nasabi ko ata, "andun sa kama" un pala nde nya naintindhan, so i was wondering bakit antagal tagal nya sa kwarto ko so i decided to just go up and get it myself, and lo and behold, i saw her moving my whole bed kasi akala pala nya na i wanted her to bring me the whole bed downstairs sa sala, comedy!!! poor thing and this really happened, no exaggeration
• This happened to my friends bro:
  
  Maid is cleaning Bro's room. Bro enters wearing only a towel (kakaligo lang). Maid starts to walk out of room.
  
  Bro: Neng, isara mo ang pinto.
  
  Maid turns around with tears in her eyes.
  
  Maid: Kuya, h'wag po!!!
  
  Bro: Gagah! Paglabas mo ng kwarto!!!
• bumili yung amo ng chalk na insecticide...
  
  amo: inday, eto gamitin mo pampatay ng ipis.
  helper: opo
  
  next day, nakita ng amo sa dingding...
  
  "epis, mamatay ka na!!!"
• Minsan, namalengke si mama at yung katulong...
  Mama: Ofel, iligpit mo na yung mga pinamili natin
  Ofel: Opo.
  Mama: Bilisan mo at marami pa tayong lulutuin
  Ofel: Ate, saan po ilalagay to, sa altar?
  Mama: Ano ba yon?
  Ofel: Ito po Ate.
  
  She was holding a cauliflower.
• One time, my brother asked our maid, Delia, to prepare hot calamansi juice for him, bec. he wasnt feeling very well.
  
  Brother: Delia, gawa mo naman ako ng hot calamansi.
  
  after a few minutes, Delia came back with a platito w/ 4 pieces of calamansi..na mukhang squishy na.
  
  Brother: ano to??
  
  Delia: Kuya, eto yung hot calamansi.
  
  Bwahahaha..yun pala , she fried the calamansi sa oil!! Hot nga naman, no??
• pag may ayaw kameng kausapin sa phone or ayaw naming labasin yung pumunta, we ask our maid to say na umalis...minsan naman tulog...
  eh, minsan, harassed na harassed na siya because my mom was barking orders left and right nang mag ring yung phone namin, she answers in a jiffy...
  maid: hillow?! (mejo pasigaw na irita ah)
  caller: pwedeng makausap si .....
  maid: Ay!Naku! wala-umalis-tulog!
  
  abaw!
• yung tita ko sa States, may Filipina maid, yaya na rin siya ng mga cousins ko...one time yung cousin ko (he was about 5 or 6 then) nagpapaalam sa mom niya kasi birthday daw ni MACHO, a classmate...
  
  so ok naman, pinayagan siya ng tita ko and my tita took him to MACHO's birthday party, hoping to meet his family na din. They arrived there, and she met the mom.. she goes "Oh hi, you must be MACHO's mom?" and the lady corrects them by saying "Oh yes I am!" then turns to my cousin, saying "MATTHEW and his friends are outside by the back!"
  
  yun pala yung cousin ko nahawa sa yaya niya dun sa MACHO...
• sabi ni mama: beng, paki tignan nga yung kanin na nakasalang.
  Takbo naman si beng..aba at pagbalik nya, kinalabit niya si mama (with matching expressionless face at monotonous voice) sabay sabi, "Ate nasusunog na po yung kanin nyo." susmaryosep. patawarin ka sana ni mother
• Ito naman ay isang magalang na katulong na dadaan sa gitna ng dalawang bisita:
  
  "Eskiyus me to you plis! Ken ay pas hir in the medel agin en agin? Kasi si sir utos ng utos me to the back and to the forth?"
  
  Tapos nagsalita pa ulit, "I will be hapi to retorn to eskiyus me to yu by and by."
  
  Natulala yung dalawang bisita.
• 
  As usual yung alibi na wala sa bahay pag may iniiwasan na tawag:
  
  Help: Hello?
  Friend: Pwede kay badoods?
  Help: Wala po siya dito, di pa dumadating.
  Friend: Dali na, tawagin mo na alam kong nandyan siya e
  (She was the one I was with before going home)
  Help: Teka lang ha tatanungin ko lang siya kung wala siya dito.

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Sakit ng tiyan ko! Hehehe!