Ironically Speaking

I cant believe I'll be seeing you again. It's been quite a while since we decided to let our pride overrule our emotions. Too bad you succeeded in breaking my heart into pieces again. When you and I were still together, too many times I've shed my tears for petty reasons..too many times I've let you hurt me. Yes you've hurted me a lot and I let it happen all because I have loved you too much. It's just so ironic that even now... you are still hurting me.


I thought it was enough to be separated from you for 8 months. I thought I was strong...I thought I could pretend to be okay. But after all those months... you still haunt me. What makes me hurt the more is that I'm seeing you happy while here I am.. still broken and still shattered.


How I wish you could feel this pain. How I wish you will wake up one night crying out my name. How I wish you'd get drunk and cry your heart out. How I wish you'd puff 20 sticks of Marlboro Reds just to forget me. How I wish you can also destroy your life the way I am doing now. There were also moments that I feel like using that sharp blade on my dresser. I wanted to die because Im too tired of crying and feeling all this pain. But then I realize that you are somebody not worth dying for. I won't end my life just for you.


Someday... in God's plan, I will be happy again. For the meantime... I want to be numb. Life is ironic nga.